Behind

I have been absent for quite a while. To be honest it was out of guilt. I have been wanting to work so hard so the second child will not miss out on all that the first child enjoyed. I want each of my children to know that their mother loves them, and that they are special. I want to spend just as much time with Beckett as I did with Carter. I spaced them out so I could do that. Carter could have his independent time while Beckett had his mommy time.

I have filled up my life so much, that I don't feel like I am doing a very good job at that. I joined a MOMS Club when Carter was a baby, and have been the president for 2 and a half years now. I have juggled 3 callings, in addition to being a visiting teacher, at church - jobs that require my time and effort not just on Sunday. I run a co-op preschool program so that I could give Carter a quality education while not being able to afford a private preschool or even a public co-op. I became certified as a Child Passenger Safety Technician, and work many MANY hours to help keep other kids safe - 100% volunteer. I am taking night classes to further my education so I can have something to fall back on if anything were to happen to David. 

All this while keeping up our regular schedule of playgroups, story times, and craft activities with other kids.

I am exhausted.

But all that aside, I have had this guilt hanging over my head that I have not been giving Beckett enough time. I have felt like all the work I did to document Carter's life in pictures and videos is going to contrast so highly when we look back at Beckett's life. Beckett is also not a smiley, happy kid like Carter was. It is so rare that he smiled or giggled, that I didn't have much to photograph. It also didn't help that my hands were so busy with Carter, that I wasn't able to grab the camera to catch those moments with Beckett.

Well, I finally faced the reality. I needed to make that first year book for Beckett. I went back through all my unsorted pictures that I have taken over the last 15 months to pull out those of Beckett. I was surprised to find that I have been pulling my camera out. Even though most of them are head shots, not action shots, they are still there. I actually had MORE good pictures of Beckett in the first year than I had of Carter!!

Could it be that I have a better camera now than in Carter's first year, so more of my pictures turned out? Could it be that I am overcompensating, so I tend to take pictures just because I am forcing myself to take pictures? Or could it be that I am just not that negligent? I'm not sure. Either way, I have a renewed commitment to my blog and my documentation. I am not failing after all!

So, here you go. Here are the best pictures of Beckett over the last year:

Notice that he hasn't really changed in size. He grew a ton in the first 5 months, and then completely leveled out after that. He didn't grow more than 1 lb and 2 inches from 5 months to 13 months.

I have taken so many more - pictures that I love. However, these are the best head shots to show how he has grown. I will try to catch up on our fun activities and milestones as I get more time.

As of right now, he is crawling. He began crawling at a week shy of 11 months - 2 months sooner than Carter. We knew he'd do everything sooner. However, the age that Carter began walking has passed, and Beckett is still finding crawling the faster mode of transportation. I am fine with this! He thinks he can walk, and will stand from my lap and take 2 steps before falling on his face. They aren't really steps, they are more moving his legs while falling, motions. However, just because he isn't walking, does NOT mean he isn't climbing. It seems his goal in life is to climb INTO our fireplace. It is such a gross thing when he has made his way in, and crawled around in the sooty mud!! He also climbs up kid chairs to get things higher up, and attempts to climb above the chair (he hasn't snuck past that, as I don't let him out of my sight any more)

He babbles a lot, and will nod his head in agreement with you, while saying "Uh huh." He says "Daddy", although it holds no meaning. When you try to get him to say "Mommy", he will respond with "Daddy". He thinks that is quite funny. He says "Doggy", and I believe he knows who they are. He says "Ah Duh" for "All Done", and accompanies that with the sign. "Mah" for more, with the sign. "Bah" for "More Banana". He signs "More", "Please", "Thank You", "All Done", "Food", and "Milk".

He will give me a kiss completely unprovoked. When asked for a kiss, he will either try to blow me one, or give me a nice slobbery open-mouthed kiss on the mouth (I guess he only has David as an example for that, so we have reduced our kissing in front of Beckett to cheek kisses until he backs off.).

He is starting to get to be a happy kid. We are glad to have him, and hope that he feels just as much attention when new baby is here.