Till Death Do Us Part

The morning after the joyous wedding, Carter came in to breakfast and said: "[Groom's Name] won't be married any more after he dies." 

I was a little taken aback because I didn't know where this came from. I asked him for clarification, and he explained that they are married, but when they are dead, they are single.

But after I thought about it, I realized he was right. He made a promise to his wife to love her and cherish her, to help her do the dirty dishes and wipe messy faces. He promised that he would stand by her side in sickness and in health - as long as they both lived on this earth.

Carter, even at 5 picked up on that. Why did they have to set an end date on their relationship?

I know that our Heavenly Father gave the sealing power to his prophets in the Bible. What they sealed on earth was sealed in heaven - Matthew 16:19, Matthew 18:18, Ephesians 1:13. And I know that we have a prophet on the earth today who has been given the sealing power.

Russell M. Nelson - a modern day apostle of the Lord said this:

"When a family is sealed in the temple, that family may become as eternal as the kingdom of God itself. Such a reward requires more than a hopeful wish. On occasion, I read in a newspaper obituary of an expectation that a recent death has reunited that person with a deceased spouse, when, in fact, they did not choose the eternal option. Instead, they opted for a marriage that was valid only as long as they both should live. Heavenly Father had offered them a supernal gift, but they refused it. And in rejecting the gift, they rejected the Giver of the gift."

Dallin H. Oaks, also one of the twelve apostles of Jesus Christ told this story:
"Just before Christmas one year, our bishop asked me, as a deacon, to help him deliver Christmas baskets to the widows of the ward. I carried a basket to each door with his greetings. When he drove me home, there was one basket remaining. He handed it to me and said it was for my mother. As he drove away, I stood in the falling snow wondering why there was a basket for my mother. She never referred to herself as a widow, and it had never occurred to me that she was. To a 12-year-old boy, she wasn’t a widow. She had a husband, and we had a father. He was just away for a while."

At twelve years old, he knew that his family was eternal. He knew his father was waiting for him. He never doubted. I want my children to know that they will always have a loving family, even when we are apart.

My husband and I were sealed for time and all eternity, and we can be a family together after we die. It gives us comfort that this is not the end.

Weddings

 We attended a wedding last night. It was amazing. The groom is a student of my husband. He delivered our mail for a while too. Our normal mailman - Chuck - was injured and out on leave for quite a while. We went out to meet the substitute driver, and he knew exactly who we were because he had seen my husband's car in the driveway. Over the last year, we got to know him from our visits to the school and the field trip to the International Auto Show.

His wedding was really spectacular. They attend a church in the Four Square denomination. They are very devoted to the Lord and to each other. Their pastor spoke about their commitment and determination. It was very obvious that their church is very bonded. They have a close knit community, and many of them were there last night. He spoke of the pair's commitment to live the law of Chastity and keep themselves pure for each other. I was very impressed at their decision to follow the Lord in that respect. So often, that is looked down upon. 

We are sending our kids the message that sex before marriage is okay and normal. Through television and music, Satan whispers that it's okay, everyone is doing it. Lyrics that we find fun and catchy are really about sinful and devilish things. We laugh at shows and say "Oh, that is just on TV, it isn't real" and expect our kids will know that we follow a different standard.

Here is a couple who made a commitment to each other long before they knew each other. Who were nurtured in the community of their church. And who stuck to their beliefs through the storms of life.

Good for you guys!

As I was sitting amongst their friends, family, and fellow church members - a talk by a member of my church Elder Bruce C. Hafen came to mind. It is called "How We Lost The Plot". In it he says:

"The changes in recent decades have portrayed marriage as an individual adult choice, rather than as a crucial knot in the very fabric that holds society together. We have increasingly lost sight of how much every marriage, and every divorce, affects other people—especially children. 

American writer Wendell Berry once described why relatives and friends come so gladly to wedding receptions. These happy gatherings have the feel of a community event—because that’s what they are: “Marriage [is] not just a bond between two people but a bond between those two people and their forebears, their children, and their neighbors.” Therefore, Berry continues: “Lovers must not . . . live for themselves alone. . . . They say their vows to the community as much as to one another, and the community gathers around them to hear and to wish them well, on their behalf and on its own. It gathers around them because it understands how necessary, how joyful, and how fearful this joining is. These lovers . . . are giving themselves away, and they are joined by this as no law or contract could ever join them. Lovers, then, ‘die’ into their union with one another as a soul ‘dies’ into its union with God. . . . If the community cannot protect this giving, it can protect nothing. . . . It is the fundamental connection without which nothing holds, and trust is its necessity.” 

Picture the community silently saying to the new couple, “We need your marriage to succeed - for our sake!” And picture the new couple silently saying to the community, “We need your support to help us succeed - for our sake!”"

The pastor asked us to pray for them and their union over the next few weeks and months. I feel like he knew that they needed their community to succeed, and the community needed them to succeed as well. 

And now, on to cute pictures of my kids.

Roslyn is really liking the music. She has stared to dance:

Beckett was riding the crochet  mallet like a horse:

Roslyn really wanted the ball:

 She got it, and didn't want to give it back:

Father's Day

Happy Father's Day

Our church does a Father/Son campout every year the weekend before Father's Day. David has taken Carter the last three years. It has been a great bonding time for them. Last year I had JUST had Roslyn and was sad to lose my biggest helper (and I'm not talking about Carter) for a night. 

This year was Beckett's first time. He did great. I don't have the pictures from David's camera to prove it, but I was told that both boys were well behaved and had a lot of fun.

This poor little girl did not want to let her Daddy go for the night:

He does so much for our family. We are so grateful to have him.

Turtles

I took Beckett to the park today. As we walked around, he decided not to run and play, but instead to hold my hand. As we walked around the covered picnic area, I could feel his body tense up. He stopped walking and squeezed my hand. He refused to go any further. 

 

I leaned down to him and asked him if he was okay. "TahDuh" was all he could muster in his broken English of toddlerhood. I translated it to be "turtle", although I had no idea what he was talking about. He confirmed my guess as I scanned the horizon for said turtle. Nothing. He remained frozen, and could not be persuaded to move forward. As the wind blew, I noticed a plastic cover (what could have been a table cloth at one point) taped to a square picnic table fill with air. All at once, I saw what looked like a GIANT turtle. 

 

I eventually convinced him to walk around it - giving it some good distance. As he cautiously moved forward, he whispered up to me "TahDuhs eat peepowh." 

I have never worked so hard to suppress laughter. "Turtles eat people?" He gave an emphatic head nod and an "Uh Huh."

We had a breif talk about how turtles don't eat people, and how that wasn't really a turtle. He was comforted that turtles no not, in fact, eat people. He seemed to believe me too. I picked him up, and took some steps towards the table. He tensed up again. I explained that it was only a table. I walked over to it and pulled up on the plastic. He clinged tightly to me, but refused to touch it. 

Poor Boy.

Brotherly Love

There was no school today, and since I had a conference call, we didn't go to playgroup. Since there were no commitments today, I got to sleep in. Everybody was so nice to give me an extra hour of sleep. David must have warned Carter ahead of time because he was super quiet each time he came into my room to check on me. 

When I woke up, I found this:

It is really hard to see because it is so dark. The wall is painted Zebra. The blue line is the painters tape we used to cover the baby monitor cord, Beckett's head is sticking up over the crib rail, and Carter's head is illuminated by the light. He has pulled his mattress out of his bed so he didn't have to lie on the hard floor.

For Christmas a couple years ago, Carter got a LeapTab. He has the Piano Guys music, some audio books from Great-Grandma Elsie, The Letter Factory, a few episodes of Blue's Clues, and some games on it. 

Carter got up to eat breakfast with Daddy, then went back in his room after Beckett woke up (I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt that he went in to keep Beckett quiet and not to wake him up.). He pulled out his tablet, propped it up so they could both see it, and watched The Letter Factory. 

I am so proud of him.

Sinking Feeling

You know that sinking feeling you get when you walk into a room and something just isn't quite right?

I had locked myself in my room to nurse Roslyn (She doesn't have time to nurse when the boys are around - they're just too much fun). I walked out to find the front door ajar. 

Beckett had "went to find mommy". He didn't bother looking for me in my room or in the office. He just went straight out the front door. He was very upset when I would not let him outside any more.

Thankfully Roslyn is a quick nurser or this could have been much worse.

This Little Boy

This little boy loves his sister. At her most recent doctor appointment, the doctor had to look into her mouth. She did not approve. She cried when he tried to pry her lips open. This little boy, shoved his way in between the doctor and his sister and acted as a barricade. He grabbed both arms of the chair I was sitting in and wasn't letting him back in.

He is such a sweet boy.

ONE

This little girl had a birthday. 

She had been running average in size since birth (50 - 55%). Then, she stopped growing. She didn't gain a sing ounce between 6 and 9 months. The doctor wasn't concerned. Now, she is 12% for weight and 27% for height (the same Beckett was at this age, except he was 64% for weight!). Beckett stopped growing from 6 months to 12 months, but nobody was concerned about him because he was 94% for weight at 6 months, so he was still a hefty boy.

After our one year doctor visit, the doctor decided that she needs to meet with a nutritionist at one of the local children's hospital. They want to beef her up. I have already been told to add butter to everything, which I don't think is a great way to keep her healthy - just to add weight. I think it will set her up for poor nutrition.

I have been having problems nursing, and have been really pushing for help. I have met with the lactation nurses through our insurance and have not had any improvement. It was not until I asked a midwife at a birthday party if she had any suggestions (I am getting desperate) that I got some answers. She looked in Roslyn's mouth and discovered that she is "lip tied". Her lip is connected to her gums still. She gave me the name of a specialist. When I spoke with the lactation nurse to get a referral, she told me it was too late, there is nothing that can be done. I brought it up with the doctor and he said it probably isn't an issue. He did give me a referral to their speech department. 

I think her slow weight gain is because of her inability to eat. Unfortunately, what's done is done, and she has missed out on a huge period of growth. I don't mind her small. However, I didn't appreciate the lecture of the damage I've done to her brain development by not adding butter to everything she eats.