Tuesday, January 21, 2014

In depth

At dinner today, Carter asked me about death. Completely random. I had been struggling to get Beckett to eat dinner. I got up to get something to wash him off and discovered that Carter was feeding him (Carter can always get Beckett to eat something that I cannot - it is messy, but effective). He then started shooting off questions.

He wanted to know when we will die. I explained that we don't know. All we can do is take good care of our bodies and do the best we can to be safe. "I am NEVER going to smoke!" He blurted out. Not sure where that came from, but smoking is something we can avoid to take good care of our bodies. 

Then he asked me when he was going to get married. I told him that when he was an adult, he could choose a wife. He needed to choose a lady who would make a good wife for him, and a good mother for his kids. I explained that not every girl would be a good fit for him, he needed to be careful and find someone that would work best. He said he needed a girl who would be a good mom because he wanted a BIG FAMILY - with TEN KIDS! (He has said this before. Although, he waffles between ten and thirteen kids)

Then he asked me again what would happen if we died. I told him that if someone we loves dies, they go to live with Jesus and we wait until we die to be with them again. The goal is to all make it back to Jesus. He got really upset that one of us would die before the rest of us. He wanted to know what would happen if that was the case. 

I told him that if Daddy died, we have two options. One, I remarry and we continue on until we die and see Daddy again. Two, we just keep going without adding someone else to our family and see Daddy again when we die. He said "There is a part that is confusing to me." He wanted to know how we marry when we are dead. I told him we don't find a spouse after we die. "I'm still confused how we marry again. You marry Daddy and then he dies and you marry him again?" Then it occurred to me that I didn't say I would marry someone else, I just said I would marry again! He thought I meant marry Daddy again! 

I straightened that out and asked him which option he thought would be best. He said "I choose a different option." I asked what that was "We trade out the options. And nobody dies." Well, that would be great if we got to choose that. I explained that we can't choose on death, but we can choose how we live. He said that he chooses option one. I asked him why. "I want you to marry someone who will play ball with me, and work, and be fun." 

I asked him if he would want Daddy to remarry if I died. "I don't want to talk about it anymore." Oh, can you tell me why you would want Daddy to marry someone else first? And then can we stop talking about it?" "Sure. I don't know. I want to stop talking about it now. I have a headache." Okay. that is the end of that.

I have no idea what brought this on, or how he could have been so calm, rational, and mature. It will pass, and I'll get my running, jumping, hurricane of a boy back. But it was really nice to be able to sit down and have a conversation with him about adult things. I hope we get to have many more.

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