Going Crazy and Car Shows

It is time again for the annual Subaru car show. It looks like our camping group has greatly diminished this year. After last year's debacle I don't think they want to camp with me. Relax guys, I had the baby - nothing that bad can happen this year. We are leaving Carter with grandma, and the dogs at the kennel (for the first time ever I don't have a friend that can watch them!!) and are heading off to Cashmere, WA. Hooray for closeness!!!

So, as I am trying to keep my life together - watching two babies while rushing off to playgroups and errands, while trying to help on the activities committee with church and do my bulletin board, all the while trying to find a place that will take my dogs with a week's notice and not charge me $500 and make sure I have enough milk & food for Carter while I am gone, in addition to all the other errands that need to be run and the day to day this and that, on top of my job outside of the home, and battling my self control to leave the Twilight books on the shelf for just one week - I am not succeeding with my sanity.

I was almost to the point of breaking down and crying because I could not do it all. I told David that I was loosing it.

His reply: "Well, call the insurance first and check if that's covered."

That is why I love him. All the other reasons aside, he makes me laugh.

Hunger Strike

I have cut Carter down to nursing him only in the mornings. I pump the rest of his meals and put it in a bottle. He was drinking about 6 ounces each of the other 3 feedings. In the last couple weeks he started refusing to finish his bottle - only drinking 4 ounces at a time. I began cutting back what I put in his bottle to 4 ounces. Since Monday, he is refusing to drink it at all. I nurse him in the morning, and he won't take a bottle until after 4. Then it is a struggle to get any milk in him before bed time. He eats his solids just fine. I started experimenting with cups. He wouldn't take any of the sippy cups that I or the babysitter own. He loves the straw on my water bottle, and will drink up the water and spit it all over himself. He thinks he is so funny. I bought this cup from Target last night because it has a similar straw on the top. It was a success. He is back on his old schedule drinking from this cup. Who knew?

On a side note, Carter thinks he is quite the funny guy. He will start jabbering on, and then stop and laugh (his half cough, half choke of a laugh - no belly laughs yet). He does that at least 50 times a day, like he is telling a funny joke and he laughs despite the fact that no one else does. We all laugh at his laughing, and he thinks we are laughing at his joke. He is rather entertaining.

Moving around

Carter has been scooting around for almost a week. He looks up to where he wants to go, then puts his head down and pushes his body forward with his legs. He usually ends up with little rug burns on his forehead. We don't have carpet, so I have to practice with him on the bed. He is very forceful with his little head plowing along.

David has no qualms about putting Carter on the floor. We have Pergo throughout the entire house, so it is pretty hard. Carter doesn't like how it feels on his head, so he lifts his head up on our floor and keeps on moving. David set Carter down on the floor behind him while he was on the computer and Carter ended up out of the room in the hallway. I say it is pretty scary. He is very content rolling around the playpen for me. I think we'll keep it that way.

Stay at home moms

I know that at home is where I should be. Carter deserves to have his mother direct him in life, and teach him the way to go. I am not talking down on women who work, but I believe that the place for me is with him. A friend of mine put this on her Facebook page, and I thought it explained things very well. I myself couldn't figure out where the time goes. It wasn't until I read this that I understood my own life. I typed out the message, because the image is a little hard to read:

Dear Carolyn: Best friend has child. Her: exhausted, busy, no time for self, no time for me, etc. Me (no kids): What'd you do today? Her: Park, play group ...

Okay. I've talked to parents. I don't get it. What do stay-at-home moms do all day? Please no list of library, grocery store, dry cleaners ... I do all those things too. I guess what I'm asking is: What is a typical day and why don't moms have time for a call or e-mail? I work and am away from home nine hours a day (plus a few late work events); I manage to get it all done. I'm feeling like the kid is an excuse to relax and enjoy, but if so, why won't my friend tell me the truth? Is this a contest ("My life is so much harder than yours")? What's the deal? I've got friends with and without kids and all us child-free folks have the same questions.

-Tacoma, Wash.

Dear Tacoma: Relax and enjoy. You're funny.

Or, you're lying about having friends with kids.

Or you're taking them at their word that they actually have kids, because you haven't personally been in the same room with them.

I keep wavering between giving you a straight answer and giving my forehead some keyboard. To claim you want to understand, while in the same breath implying that the only logical conclusions are that your mom-friends are either lying or competing with you, is disingenuous indeed.

So, because it's validation you seem to want, the real answer is what you get. When you have young kids, your typical day is: constant attention, from getting them out of bed, fed, cleaned, dressed; to keeping them out of harm's way; to answering their coos, cries, questions; to having two arms and carrying one kid, one set of car keys, and supplies for even the quickest trips, including the latest-to-be-declared-essential piece of molded plastic gear; to keeping them from unshelving books at the library; to enforcing rest times; to staying one step ahead of them lest they get too hungry, tired or bored, and one of which produces checkout-line screaming.

It's needing 45 minutes to do what takes others 15.

It's constant vigilance, constant touch, constant use of your voice, constant relegation of your needs to the second tier.

It's constant scrutiny and second-guessing from family and friends. It's resisting constant temptation to seek short-term relief at everyone's long-term expense.

It's doing all this while concurrently teaching virtually everything - language, manners, safety, resourcefulness, discipline, curiosity, creativity. Empathy. Everything.

It's also a choice, yes. And a joy. But if you spent all day, every day, with this brand of joy, and then, when you got your first 10 minutes to yourself, wanted to be alone with your thoughts instead of calling a good friend, a good friend wouldn't judge you, complain about you or marvel how much more productively she uses her time. Either make a sincere effort to understand, or keep your snit to yourself.

Days with an active child

I have been very lucky that Carter is pretty content to sit by himself and play for most of the time - like when I shower, or want to read. Today marks a new era for him. The active wants to move around time has begun.

Carter has begun to scoot around. He will flail his legs until he gets to the thing that he desires. He was always content to move on to another toy that was in reach. Now he has found this new mobility empowering. He is also trying other things - like sticking his fist in his mouth in the middle of a meal. He plays with his food - while it is in his mouth. It is quite gross. Boys will be boys right?

Today so far we have eaten breakfast and first lunch, including what amounts to an entire bowl full of Cheerios. Our nap has come and gone all to quickly. We have read books, then methodically one-by-one thrown each of them on the floor. We have stood at the rail of the pack-n-play and laughed at the dogs. And withstood and all out attack by Lydia this morning. All and all, it has been a busy morning. Who knows what we have in store for us after our nap.

The Temple

Yesterday we went to the Seattle Temple - where David & I were married 6 years ago. It was Carter's nap time, and he was a little cranky - but I think we got some good pictures. It was certainly a nice day for it.

Wedding!!

My cousin Robert got married yesterday. David took some pretty cool pictures, but as this is a blog about the baby - I figured I would put pictures of the baby up. He is a pretty attractive kid. He was so happy to sit in the grass and play with that water bottle.
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This is Bernadette, she is my cousin Michelle's daughter. She was 4 1/2 months old at our wedding, and 6 1/2 yesterday. I dug up my wedding pictures of her, and thought I would compare. They are pretty grainy, but you get the picture:

Here are more pictures of adorable little Carter:

"Hmmm, what should we do next?"

I'm Back

I made it back to reality on Saturday around 11 AM. I have survived on about 12 hours of sleep the entire week. I do not do well sleep deprived. It did not keep me from sitting straight up the second I had conscious thought and moving to the living room with my book (so as not to wake David). With the exception of getting up for work (which happens very rarely), I have only risen out of bed before him a couple times. Neither of us could remember why I got out of bed first - but I have NEVER been this compelled. I am sad to say that I have finished. There seems to be a void that was not there before. If anybody has suggestions for me to fill this hole - I would greatly appreciate it. What did you do when the Twilight series was over. And yes, I did read Midnight Sun. It gives me something to hope for.

On a side note, I would have finished two days earlier except I had to work, and I wasn't about to attempt to function away from the book when I was part way through one. I had to finish New Moon to go to my two days at the office, then pick up Eclipse the second I got home. Wow, I got sucked in.